Lenk, J.
Lance Houston, the former husband of Lomalee Houston (wife), appeals from a judgment of divorce nisi of the Probate and Family Court and from an order denying his motion to amend the findings of fact and conclusions of law, claiming, among other things, that the Probate Court judge erred in ameliorating, subsequent to trial, the effects of certain admissions that had become binding on the wife by the operation of Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 36 (1975). We agree with the husband that so much of the judgment as pertains to child custody (and related orders for child support and visitation) must be vacated, [530]*530and we remand the matter to the Probate and Family Court for further proceedings.
1. Background. After a short-term marriage during which the parties lived together for three years between August, 1997, and June, 2000, the wife filed a complaint for divorce in which she sought, among other things, custody of the parties’ child, who was bom on May 1, 1996. On July 15, 2003, a pretrial conference was held which resulted in an order directing the parties to complete discovery within forty-five days and stating that the contested issues for trial were alimony and “legal custody.”1 Thereafter, on July 28, 2003, the husband, then (apparently) a law student and acting pro se, served by mail on the wife, through counsel, a “1st set of requests for admissions.”2 The wife served her answers to the requests for admissions on September 5, 2003, three days late.
At the trial on January 2, 2004, on the limited issues of alimony and child custody, the husband introduced and had marked as an exhibit his requests for admissions, and the judge stated that because the wife had failed to respond to the requests within the thirty-day period specified in Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 36,3 and had failed to file a motion to extend the thirty-day period, the requests were considered admitted and the parties (and the judge) were “stuck” with them.4 The judge also indicated, at [531]*531various points at trial, that evidence was not required concerning matters established by the admissions.5
By a judgment of divorce nisi dated February 25, 2004, the wife was awarded full legal and physical custody of the parties’ child (subject to reasonable visitation by the husband), and the husband was ordered to pay child support in the amount of $73 per week. Neither party was ordered to pay alimony to the other. In her findings of fact and conclusions of law, the judge iterated that because the wife had failed to serve timely answers to the requests for admissions, and had failed to request an extension of time to file her answers, “[t]he Wife [was] . . . bound by the admissions contained [in the requests].” The judge also indicated that, in response to a motion filed by the husband, she had “entered sanctions for Wife’s failure to timely answer, specifically, the Court established the facts contained in the Request for Admissions.”
Notwithstanding her statements at trial concerning the binding nature of the admissions and the establishment of the facts contained therein, the judge subsequently found as facts, inter alla, that “[f]rom the birth of the parties’ son, the Wife was primarily responsible for child care and homemaking,” and that [532]*532“[d]uring the course of the marriage and since the parties separated, the Wife has been the primary caretaker for the minor child.”6 The judge also found that although the wife had established a need for alimony, because of the husband’s financial situation while a law student at the time of trial, the husband did not have the present ability to pay alimony. The judge therefore declined to enter a present order for alimony, but noted that “if and when the Husband’s circumstances change in the future, the Wife may be entitled to bring an action in the future.”
On March 1, 2004, the husband filed a motion to amend the judge’s findings of fact and conclusions of law, including those findings that the wife was primarily responsible for child care and homemaking since the birth of the parties’ child, as they were “contrary to the weight of the evidence in that the findings [were] contrary to facts deemed admitted at trial.” On April 26, 2004, the judge denied the motion, stating:
“Notwithstanding the requests for admissions this court finds that based upon the best interest of the child this court has considered the facts related to custody and child support in a manner which is fair to both parties and is not unduly burdensome to the parties. To allow some of the admissions to stand runs contrary to the court’s duty to determine what is best for the child.”
This appeal followed.
2. Rule 36 admissions. Under Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 36(a), each matter of which an admission is requested is deemed admitted unless, within thirty days after service of the request, or within such shorter or longer time as the court may allow, the party to whom the request is directed responds in accordance with the [533]*533rule either by denying the matter (or setting forth in detail why the answering party cannot truthfully admit or deny the matter) or objecting to it. Rule 36(b) provides that any matter admitted under the rule is conclusively established unless the court on motion permits withdrawal or amendment of the admission.7 Paragraph (b) recognizes that “[t]he effect of the rule in a given case may be unduly harsh, and the ability of the judge to exert an ameliorating influence is essential to avoid a result in which form triumphs over substance.” Reynolds Aluminum Bldg. Prods. Co. v. Leonard, 395 Mass. 255, 260 (1985) (involving Dist./Mun.Cts.R.Civ.P. 36 [1975], which the court described as identical to Mass.R.Civ.P. 36, 365 Mass. 795 [1974]). See Northboro Inn, LLC v. Treatment Plant Bd. of Westborough, 58 Mass. App. Ct. 670, 677 (2003). In the usual case, a judge “may ameliorate the effect of the rule when: (1) the presentation of the merits of the action will be advanced, and (2) the party obtaining the admission fails to satisfy the court that withdrawal or amendment will prejudice him in maintaining his action or defense on the merits.” Reynolds Aluminum Bldg. Prods. Co. v. Leonard, 395 Mass. at 260. However, when a party delays seeking relief until trial has commenced, rule 36(b) impliedly adopts a stricter standard of preventing “manifest [534]*534injustice.” Id. at 260 n.9. See Brook Village N. Assocs. v. General Elec. Co., 686 F.2d 66, 71 (1st Cir. 1982). The Rules of Domestic Relations Procedure govern the procedure in the Probate and Family Court in proceedings involving the custody of minor children. Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 1 (1995).8
a. The custody-related admissions. The husband argues that the judge’s findings of fact and conclusions of law with respect to custody must be set aside, as the judge made findings that directly contradict the rule 36 requests deemed admitted at trial.9
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Lenk, J.
Lance Houston, the former husband of Lomalee Houston (wife), appeals from a judgment of divorce nisi of the Probate and Family Court and from an order denying his motion to amend the findings of fact and conclusions of law, claiming, among other things, that the Probate Court judge erred in ameliorating, subsequent to trial, the effects of certain admissions that had become binding on the wife by the operation of Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 36 (1975). We agree with the husband that so much of the judgment as pertains to child custody (and related orders for child support and visitation) must be vacated, [530]*530and we remand the matter to the Probate and Family Court for further proceedings.
1. Background. After a short-term marriage during which the parties lived together for three years between August, 1997, and June, 2000, the wife filed a complaint for divorce in which she sought, among other things, custody of the parties’ child, who was bom on May 1, 1996. On July 15, 2003, a pretrial conference was held which resulted in an order directing the parties to complete discovery within forty-five days and stating that the contested issues for trial were alimony and “legal custody.”1 Thereafter, on July 28, 2003, the husband, then (apparently) a law student and acting pro se, served by mail on the wife, through counsel, a “1st set of requests for admissions.”2 The wife served her answers to the requests for admissions on September 5, 2003, three days late.
At the trial on January 2, 2004, on the limited issues of alimony and child custody, the husband introduced and had marked as an exhibit his requests for admissions, and the judge stated that because the wife had failed to respond to the requests within the thirty-day period specified in Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 36,3 and had failed to file a motion to extend the thirty-day period, the requests were considered admitted and the parties (and the judge) were “stuck” with them.4 The judge also indicated, at [531]*531various points at trial, that evidence was not required concerning matters established by the admissions.5
By a judgment of divorce nisi dated February 25, 2004, the wife was awarded full legal and physical custody of the parties’ child (subject to reasonable visitation by the husband), and the husband was ordered to pay child support in the amount of $73 per week. Neither party was ordered to pay alimony to the other. In her findings of fact and conclusions of law, the judge iterated that because the wife had failed to serve timely answers to the requests for admissions, and had failed to request an extension of time to file her answers, “[t]he Wife [was] . . . bound by the admissions contained [in the requests].” The judge also indicated that, in response to a motion filed by the husband, she had “entered sanctions for Wife’s failure to timely answer, specifically, the Court established the facts contained in the Request for Admissions.”
Notwithstanding her statements at trial concerning the binding nature of the admissions and the establishment of the facts contained therein, the judge subsequently found as facts, inter alla, that “[f]rom the birth of the parties’ son, the Wife was primarily responsible for child care and homemaking,” and that [532]*532“[d]uring the course of the marriage and since the parties separated, the Wife has been the primary caretaker for the minor child.”6 The judge also found that although the wife had established a need for alimony, because of the husband’s financial situation while a law student at the time of trial, the husband did not have the present ability to pay alimony. The judge therefore declined to enter a present order for alimony, but noted that “if and when the Husband’s circumstances change in the future, the Wife may be entitled to bring an action in the future.”
On March 1, 2004, the husband filed a motion to amend the judge’s findings of fact and conclusions of law, including those findings that the wife was primarily responsible for child care and homemaking since the birth of the parties’ child, as they were “contrary to the weight of the evidence in that the findings [were] contrary to facts deemed admitted at trial.” On April 26, 2004, the judge denied the motion, stating:
“Notwithstanding the requests for admissions this court finds that based upon the best interest of the child this court has considered the facts related to custody and child support in a manner which is fair to both parties and is not unduly burdensome to the parties. To allow some of the admissions to stand runs contrary to the court’s duty to determine what is best for the child.”
This appeal followed.
2. Rule 36 admissions. Under Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 36(a), each matter of which an admission is requested is deemed admitted unless, within thirty days after service of the request, or within such shorter or longer time as the court may allow, the party to whom the request is directed responds in accordance with the [533]*533rule either by denying the matter (or setting forth in detail why the answering party cannot truthfully admit or deny the matter) or objecting to it. Rule 36(b) provides that any matter admitted under the rule is conclusively established unless the court on motion permits withdrawal or amendment of the admission.7 Paragraph (b) recognizes that “[t]he effect of the rule in a given case may be unduly harsh, and the ability of the judge to exert an ameliorating influence is essential to avoid a result in which form triumphs over substance.” Reynolds Aluminum Bldg. Prods. Co. v. Leonard, 395 Mass. 255, 260 (1985) (involving Dist./Mun.Cts.R.Civ.P. 36 [1975], which the court described as identical to Mass.R.Civ.P. 36, 365 Mass. 795 [1974]). See Northboro Inn, LLC v. Treatment Plant Bd. of Westborough, 58 Mass. App. Ct. 670, 677 (2003). In the usual case, a judge “may ameliorate the effect of the rule when: (1) the presentation of the merits of the action will be advanced, and (2) the party obtaining the admission fails to satisfy the court that withdrawal or amendment will prejudice him in maintaining his action or defense on the merits.” Reynolds Aluminum Bldg. Prods. Co. v. Leonard, 395 Mass. at 260. However, when a party delays seeking relief until trial has commenced, rule 36(b) impliedly adopts a stricter standard of preventing “manifest [534]*534injustice.” Id. at 260 n.9. See Brook Village N. Assocs. v. General Elec. Co., 686 F.2d 66, 71 (1st Cir. 1982). The Rules of Domestic Relations Procedure govern the procedure in the Probate and Family Court in proceedings involving the custody of minor children. Mass.R.Dom.Rel.P. 1 (1995).8
a. The custody-related admissions. The husband argues that the judge’s findings of fact and conclusions of law with respect to custody must be set aside, as the judge made findings that directly contradict the rule 36 requests deemed admitted at trial.9 He also urges that the judge abused her discretion when, three months after trial, she sua sponte withdrew and relieved the wife of the effect of the admissions with no prior notice to him or opportunity to be heard and without considering the prejudicial effect of the withdrawal upon him (which the husband states is substantial). In addition, the husband claims that the judge used an incorrect legal standard for the withdrawal and, in fact, should not have withdrawn the admissions in the absence of a motion by the wife requesting such relief.
At the outset, we think it is instructive to review the purposes of rule 36 admissions and the principles governing awards of child custody. “The purpose of [rule 36] is to assist ‘the parties in their preparation for trial by facilitating proof with respect to issues that cannot be eliminated from the case, and by narrowing the issues by eliminating those that can be.’ ” Reynolds Aluminum Bldg. Prods. Co. v. Leonard, 395 Mass. at 261, quoting from Equal Employment Opportunity Commn. v. Baby Prods. Co., 89 F.R.D. 129, 130 (E.D. Mich. 1981). It is a procedural rule. Child [535]*535custody, on the other hand, holds a peculiar place in our jurisprudence and implicates a “societal interest.”10 Imprescia v. Imprescia, 392 Mass. 101, 104 (1984). Awards of custody are made upon a determination of the best interests of the child. See Custody of Kali, 439 Mass. 834, 840-841 (2003), and cases cited; Custody of Zia, 50 Mass. App. Ct. 237, 243 (2000). See also Allen v. Allen, 326 Mass. 214, 216 (1950) (court’s duty in a custody dispute is to consider the best interests of the child). A judge may consider any factor pertinent to those interests. Custody of Zia, 50 Mass. App. Ct. at 243. “It is the duty of the judge to consider the welfare of the child[ren] in reference not merely to the present, but also to the probable future . . .” (emphasis supplied). Rolde v. Rolde, 12 Mass. App. Ct. 398, 403 (1981), quoting from Jenkins v. Jenkins, 304 Mass. 248, 250 (1939).
The judge’s endorsement on the husband’s postjudgment motion to amend findings makes clear that the judge recognized at some point, apparently after the trial, that there may be an inherent tension between admissions by default in child custody disputes and a judge’s obligation in such matters to ensure that an award of custody is in the child’s best interests.11 In view of the special nature of child custody and the principles governing [536]*536awards of custody, we do not fault the judge for attempting to ameliorate the effects of the procedural rule, even in the absence of a motion by the wife. See Reynolds Aluminum Bldg. Prods. Co. v. Leonard, 395 Mass. at 260 n.8 (where the court left open the question whether the language “on motion” in rule 36[b] limits a judge “in every circumstance that might arise”). Indeed, where, as here, certain of the requested admissions involve important factors in a custody dispute, such action may be necessary to protect the child’s best interests and to prevent manifest injustice. As we have stated, an ameliorating influence may be essential to avoid a result where form triumphs over substance.
What causes concern in the present case is the timing of the withdrawal of certain of the admissions. “Generally, neither a party nor the judge should wait until trial, or worse, after trial, to alleviate the impact of an admission, or to state his reasons for doing so.” Id. at 261. The purposes of rule 36, as set out supra, are “[ojbviously . . . ill-served when a party is informed at, or subsequent to, trial that he must now establish facts for which he had no reason to suspect additional proof would be required. Neither are these purposes served when the judge fails to inform the parties, on the record, exactly how he intends to treat an admission and why.” Ibid.
Here, there is strong indication in the limited record before us that the husband’s trial strategy and approach to the evidence was guided, at least in part, by the wife’s failure to answer the requests for admissions and the judge’s numerous statements at trial concerning the binding effect of the admissions. By withdrawing the admissions relating to custody after trial and without notice to the husband, the judge effectively put the husband in the unenviable position of having to establish facts for which it appears that he had no reason to suspect additional proof would be required. In the circumstances presented, we [537]*537conclude that the husband was prejudiced by the judge’s withdrawal, after trial, of certain admissions concerning child custody.12 Further proceedings concerning custody are thus required.
b. The admissions relating to finances. The husband argues that several of the judge’s findings that bear on the parties’ financial situations are inconsistent with his requests that were deemed judicially admitted. First, the husband asserts that the judge’s finding that the wife had established a need for alimony to support herself and the minor child is inconsistent with the following judicially admitted facts: the wife has worked each year since the parties’ marriage, the wife has not been out of the workforce since the parties’ marriage, the wife is “financially independent,” the wife has not reported the income of additional persons who reside with her, the wife has more than one source of income, and the wife has given false information to “government bodies” in the past. Cf. Heins v. Ledis, 422 Mass. 477, 484 (1996) (“An award of alimony is improper absent a finding of financial need on the part of the recipient spouse”). Contrary to the husband’s assertion, we do not believe that the admitted facts, either alone or in combination, are inconsistent with the judge’s finding concerning the wife’s need for alimony.13 Nonetheless, we think comment is warranted concerning the [538]*538admission that the wife is “financially independent.” In addition to the foregoing findings, the judge found that the wife’s income is limited, that she manages her income so as not to fall into debt, and that in order to avoid debt the wife had been required to work a second job or additional hours. Putting to one side the question whether the admission that the wife is “financially independent” is ambiguous,14 see Talley v. United States, 990 F.2d 695, 699 (1st Cir.), cert. denied, 510 U.S. 867 (1993) (to the extent a request for admissions is ambiguous, that ambiguity is to be construed against the party whose lawyer drafted the request), the admitted fact, when viewed in the light of all of the judge’s findings, suggests that the wife is able to achieve financial independence (whatever the meaning of that language) only by working multiple jobs or extra hours. In the circumstances, there is nothing in the admission that would preclude the judge from finding a financial need for alimony on the part of the wife.
Similarly, we perceive nothing in the “admitted facts” (particularly those pertaining to the husband’s “support” of the wife at various times) that would preclude or render erroneous the judge’s findings that “[t]he Husband worked sporadically and only part-time and did not earn enough money to support the family. It was through the efforts of the Wife that the family was financially maintained.” Again, these findings must be read in the context of all of the judge’s findings, including her findings that “[f]or most of the marriage, the Husband has been a student, he has worked while he goes to school and contributed to the marriage”; that the wife has been a “consistent source of income for the family”; and that the wife, at times, has “out earned” the husband despite her limited education.15 Read together, the judge’s findings, reasonably construed, indicate that although the husband did not earn sufficient income on a consistent basis to support the family, he made some contributions to the family’s support. As we have noted, the admitted [539]*539facts to which the husband points contain, for the most part, statements that the husband had supported the wife (in unspecified amounts) at various times during the marriage.16 The judge’s findings do not, as the husband contends in his brief, “directly contradict[]” the rule 36 admissions.
3. Other issues. There is nothing in the husband’s remaining arguments, considered in the light of the limited record before us, that would cause us to disturb any other finding or order of the judge.17
4. Relief. Contrary to the husband’s request in his brief, we do not think it is appropriate in the present case to remand the matter to the Probate Court with directions that findings of fact with respect to custody be entered consistent with the husband’s requests for admissions. Rather, for all of the reasons we have stated, we think the admissions with respect to child custody (and the wife’s answers to requests for admissions concerning child custody, which was an exhibit at trial) should be treated as withdrawn and the matter remanded to the Probate Court for a full evidentiary hearing on the question of child custody. Moreover, in view of the passage of time since the trial, the judge may consider such recent evidence as may be necessary or helpful.
So much of the judgment as pertains to child custody, visitation, and child support is vacated and the matter is remanded to the Probate and Family Court for further proceedings consistent with this opinion. However, the orders for custody, visitation, [540]*540and child support shall remain in effect as temporary orders until new orders are entered. In all other respects, the judgment is affirmed.
So ordered.