Spenser v. Spenser

128 Misc. 2d 298, 488 N.Y.S.2d 565, 1985 N.Y. Misc. LEXIS 2899
CourtNew York City Family Court
DecidedMarch 28, 1985
StatusPublished
Cited by4 cases

This text of 128 Misc. 2d 298 (Spenser v. Spenser) is published on Counsel Stack Legal Research, covering New York City Family Court primary law. Counsel Stack provides free access to over 12 million legal documents including statutes, case law, regulations, and constitutions.

Bluebook
Spenser v. Spenser, 128 Misc. 2d 298, 488 N.Y.S.2d 565, 1985 N.Y. Misc. LEXIS 2899 (N.Y. Super. Ct. 1985).

Opinion

OPINION OF THE COURT

Jeffry H. Gallet, J.

The parties are the parents of three children, Lisa, age 13, Jennifer, age 10, and Heather, age 5. Lisa is in the custody of her father while Jennifer and Heather are in their mother’s custody. The mother brings this proceeding for Lisa’s custody.

ISSUES

In addition to a determination of the best interests of the children involved, this proceeding raises several previously unanswered questions as to the status of stepparents, the ability of the Family Court to modify orders of other courts, and the duty of a custodial parent to compel a recalcitrant child to visit the noncustodial parent.

THE STATUS OF THE STEPPARENTS

Before approaching the merits of the proceeding, it is important to clarify the status of the father’s second wife and the mother’s second husband. Since many divorced parents remarry, [299]*299courts are beginning to focus on the question of the effect of stepfamilies on children and the rights and obligations of stepparents (Atkinson, Criteria for Deciding Child Custody in the Trial and Appellate Courts, 18 Family LQ 1, 34 [spring 1984]). While stepparents have no independent right in relation to their stepchildren, they do derive certain legal and de facto rights and obligations as the spouse of a parent.

Stepparents are obligated to support their stepchildren under certain circumstances (Family Ct Act § 415; Department of Welfare v Siebel, 6 NY2d 536 [1959]) and have standing to sue for custody or visitation (Matter of Tyrrell v Tyrrell, 67 AD2d 247 [4th Dept 1979], affd 47 NY2d 937 [1979]; Matter of Trapp v Trapp, 126 Misc 2d 30 [Fam Ct, Onondaga County 1984]) but are required to prove extraordinary circumstances as defined by the Court of Appeals in Matter of Bennett v Jeffreys (40 NY2d 543 [1976]) to be successful. As a practical matter they act as parents while their stepchildren are with them. They discipline the children, function as family members in social situations and as adult role models.

In addition, stepparents, their own children and their extended families are important parts of the natural parent’s life and as such are important to their stepchildren. It is not inappropriate for a natural parent to strive to build a positive relationship between the child and the stepparent and his or her family. However, the parent and stepparent must not allow that positive relationship to replace that of the child with the other natural parent and natural family. While it is proper to use visitation periods to foster the relationship between the child and the stepfamily, that should not be the primary focus of visitation.

In essence, in most instances the stepparent acts as the agent of the parent, from whom he or she derives his or her rights and authority. The parent is generally responsible for his or her spouse’s acts. In this case, there is some question of whether the father was aware of some of his wife’s actions. Where, as here, the stepparent acts openly, without any attempt to hide her actions from her husband, he will be held accountable for them.

FACTS

Although these parties have appeared before more than a score of Family, Supreme, Surrogate’s and Criminal Court Judges, this trial was the first full evidentiary hearing. The trial ran over 20 days during which, among other witnesses, both parents and both stepparents testified and hundreds of pages of documents, including two volumes of the father’s personal diary, [300]*300and several hours of taped telephone conversations were received in evidence.

Before proceeding with the findings of fact, an examination of the credibility of the witnesses is necessary. It is not unusual in cases of this kind for parties to have different perceptions of events. Memories dim with the passage of time and are influenced by the emotionally charged situations. Under such circumstances, parties and their spouses are rarely absolutely credible in their testimony and this case is not an exception. One witness, however, was particularly lacking in credibility.

The stepmother’s testimony was frequently contradicted by other evidence and her own inconsistent statements. She was evasive, even under examination by her husband’s lawyer, and admitted making untrue statements to the Surrogate’s Court under oath. That, together with her demeanor on the witness stand, led me to discredit much of her testimony.

The petitioner and respondent were married in July of 1970 and divorced in March of 1979 with the mother receiving custody of the children. Several months thereafter, the father married the stepmother, with whom he had been involved while married to the mother. Indeed, there had been a confrontation, initiated by the stepmother, between the mother and stepmother before the father and mother separated and while the mother was pregnant with Heather. The Supreme Court found that during the marriage the father had struck the mother and on another occasion grabbed her by the throat and attempted to choke her. It is, therefore, not surprising that the relationship between the father, mother and stepmother was frequently less than cordial. Nor is it surprising that the hostility of the three adults affected their relationships with the children and with each other when dealing with questions of child support, custody and visitation. The problem was exacerbated by the stepmother’s inability to conceive a child of her own.

From 1979 through the end of 1982, there were numerous disputes about visitation and child support, many of which resulted in litigation in the Supreme and Family Courts. In January of 1983, at her request, and with the agreement of her parents, Lisa went to live with her father while Jennifer and Heather remained with their mother.

The parties stipulated to a schedule of visitation of each noncustodial parent with the children for the years 1983 and 1984. That schedule shows visitation for the father if he saw either Jennifer or Heather. There were occasions when either Jennifer or Heather did not visit and the parties disagree as to [301]*301whether the child was actually too ill to visit; those disputes were de minimus in analyzing the visitation patterns.

In 1983, the father had visitation on 135 of 365 days or approximately 37% of the days. He had visitation every week that year. In 1984, excluding the month of December which was not complete in the schedule, he had visitation 124 of a possible 335 days or approximately 37% of the days. He had visitation all but one week. Not included in those calculations were the times the father saw Jennifer at her school to give her “snacks” or the extensive visitation he had with her while she was hospitalized from May 14 to June 21, 1984.

On the other hand, in 1983, excluding the month of January when Lisa’s residence changed, the mother had visitation only 22 of 334 days or 61/2% of the days. In 1984, again excluding December, she saw Lisa only 7 of a possible 335 days or 2% of the days. Significantly, all of her visitation occurred after the commencement of this proceeding and under direct court supervision.

The father explained the mother’s lack of visitation with Lisa by saying that the child refused to go. That position is in marked contrast to his position when Heather refused to visit him. He, faced with Heather’s refusal, appropriately forced her to visit with him.

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Bluebook (online)
128 Misc. 2d 298, 488 N.Y.S.2d 565, 1985 N.Y. Misc. LEXIS 2899, Counsel Stack Legal Research, https://law.counselstack.com/opinion/spenser-v-spenser-nycfamct-1985.