In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast

Court of Appeals of Washington·Decided January 3, 2023·No. 82969-6·Unpublished

Opinion

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON

In the Matter of the Marriage of: AMANDA L. TILLINGHAST, No. 82969-6-I Respondent, DIVISION ONE and UNPUBLISHED OPINION ANDREW D. TILLINGHAST, Appellant.

MANN, J. — Andrew Tillinghast appeals a parenting plan and child support order relating to his son, KT, and a restraining order entered for the protection of his former spouse, Amanda Tillinghast. 1 Andrew argues the trial court erred (1) by restricting his residential time with KT under RCW 26.09.191, challenging the sufficiency of the evidence of the trial court’s findings of his abusive use of conflict and history of domestic violence, (2) by requiring Andrew’s visits with KT to be supervised until he executes a release of information permitting Amanda to access certain specified information from Andrew’s mental health providers, (3) in issuing a restraining order for

1 To avoid confusion, we refer to the parties by their first names. We intend no disrespect.

Amanda’s protection, challenging the sufficiency of evidence of the trial court’s finding of a reasonable likelihood of family violence in the absence of such an order, (4) by failing to weigh the statutory criteria under RCW 26.09.187 in adopting the residential parenting time schedule, and (5) in calculating child support.

We affirm.

FACTS

Andrew and Amanda married in August 2014. They have one child together, KT, born in January 2014. Amanda has an older child, A, from a prior relationship. Andrew and Amanda separated in 2018. They shared parenting duties for both KT and A without a parenting plan until Amanda began this dissolution action in 2020. During the pendency of the dissolution, the two children resided with Amanda 70 percent of the time and with Andrew 30 percent of the time under a temporary residential schedule imposed by court order.

Based on Amanda’s allegations of domestic violence and mental health concerns about Andrew, a court commissioner ordered Andrew to undergo a mental health assessment, to meet with a therapist every two weeks to address the assessment’s results and to “work to establish appropriate social boundaries.” The court also ordered the appointment of a guardian ad litem (GAL) to investigate Amanda’s allegations, as well as statements Andrew had made that he was dying of cancer and suffered from a collapsed lung, and mutual allegations each parent raised about the other’s drug or alcohol abuse.

At a five-day bench trial that began in June 2021, the trial court heard testimony from Andrew, Amanda, their relatives, Andrew’s current pastor, and one of Andrew’s

friends. The court also heard testimony and admitted into evidence a 45-page report from the court-appointed GAL, Julia Jensine, and a psychologist retained by Andrew to perform a mental health evaluation, Dr. Daniel Singer.

The evidence at trial revealed that Amanda left the marriage after calling the police during a domestic dispute that led to the police escorting Andrew from the family home. According to Amanda, the incident involved Andrew locking her in the laundry room for two hours while he ranted at her about various grievances. Amanda testified that incident was her “breaking point” that led her to leave the marriage. The GAL, in both her report and in her testimony at trial, concluded that this incident was not an isolated event. She concluded that Andrew had engaged in various tactics throughout the marriage to “minutely control Amanda’s day-to-day behavior,” including threats, intimidation, financial deprivation, emotional and verbal abuse, lying, gaslighting, emotional and verbal abuse of the children, isolation of Amanda from her family and friends, sabotage of Amanda’s efforts to obtain a dental hygiene degree, and using the children as pawns to make Amanda feel guilty.

While there is no evidence Andrew physically hurt Amanda, the evidence showed that he made her fear such violence. Amanda testified that during one Christmas Eve, Andrew began drinking liquor straight from the bottle and yelled at her, while the two boys watched, crying. She also testified that, at times, Andrew would keep her up all night yelling at her, making it difficult for her to get enough sleep to function at work or school. Amanda testified that before separating, she and Andrew attempted marriage counseling with a counselor named Heidi Halsey. The counselor described Andrew as a “narcissist” and “sociopath,” and advised Amanda to leave him immediately.

Amanda also explained how, after they separated, Andrew began a relentless campaign of harassment and intimidation. Amanda recounted to the GAL that when she asked Andrew not to return to the home after the police ordered him to leave, he told her that the house was not hers, that her sister, Adrienne, needed to leave, and if she did not “come to [her] senses,” the “[p]ower, water, gas, internet, go away.” He then used the internet to remotely turn the house lights on and off remotely.

The couple purchased a Jeep for Amanda’s use before they separated but the vehicle title was only in Andrew’s name. When Amanda did not agree to his demands to see the boys on Christmas Day, Andrew threatened to call the police and tell them she had stolen the vehicle. He also threatened to call 911 and claim that she had kidnapped the children. He sent her photographs of himself wearing a Grinch mask, in which he used one hand to flip her off and the other hand to hold his crotch. In text behind the Grinch mask are the words “Give me full custody of both and I’ll go away. You never have to see me again.”

Amanda also testified that Andrew regularly used the children for information about her asking them if she was bringing men home. He watched her Facebook page and wrote her repeatedly asking about men who were identified as “friends” on her page. The GAL concluded, after reviewing the communications between the parties, that Andrew was obsessed by the thought of Amanda engaging in sex with other men and made “outlandish accusations of infidelities” based on benign Facebook and Twitter entries.

One theme of the GAL report and trial testimony was Andrew’s economic abuse of Amanda. For the first year and a half of their separation, Andrew regularly denied

Amanda access to money for the children. Amanda explained to the court how Andrew withheld funds from her hoping he could convince her to reconcile. Amanda had to plead with Andrew for financial support and he would periodically send her money via Venmo but when he chose to send it, in an amount he decided to send. When Amanda told Andrew she lacked funds to buy the children Christmas presents, he told her he would take the children from her if she could not afford to feed them. Because she had no court-ordered child support at the time, the amount he sent her was insufficient for her and the children’s needs and it was always up to Andrew whether she would receive anything. Amanda and the children were, as she described it, “at his mercy.” She admitted she did tell him she would come home and he sent her $2,000 as a result.

The GAL concluded that Andrew was using his superior financial situation to control Amanda. She relied for this conclusion, in part, on an incident involving the parties’ tax returns. According to the GAL, Amanda informed her that after the parties separated, Amanda went to Andrew’s house to help do their tax return. She left, however, when they got into an argument and she left the tax information behind. Andrew signed her name to the tax return without her knowledge or permission. When Andrew received the $16,000 tax refund, he did not give Amanda any of these funds. The parties agreed that in lieu of spousal support, Andrew would pay Amanda a lump sum of $8,000, equivalent to her share of this tax return.

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In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast, (Wash. Ct. App. 2023).

In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast (In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast) — published by Counsel Stack Legal Research, free access to 12M+ legal documents.

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