In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast

CourtCourt of Appeals of Washington
DecidedJanuary 3, 2023
Docket82969-6
StatusUnpublished

This text of In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast (In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast) is published on Counsel Stack Legal Research, covering Court of Appeals of Washington primary law. Counsel Stack provides free access to over 12 million legal documents including statutes, case law, regulations, and constitutions.

Bluebook
In Re The Marriage Of: Amanda L. Tillinghast, V. Andrew D. Tillinghast, (Wash. Ct. App. 2023).

Opinion

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON

In the Matter of the Marriage of:

AMANDA L. TILLINGHAST, No. 82969-6-I

Respondent, DIVISION ONE

and UNPUBLISHED OPINION

ANDREW D. TILLINGHAST,

Appellant.

MANN, J. — Andrew Tillinghast appeals a parenting plan and child support order

relating to his son, KT, and a restraining order entered for the protection of his former

spouse, Amanda Tillinghast. 1 Andrew argues the trial court erred (1) by restricting his

residential time with KT under RCW 26.09.191, challenging the sufficiency of the

evidence of the trial court’s findings of his abusive use of conflict and history of

domestic violence, (2) by requiring Andrew’s visits with KT to be supervised until he

executes a release of information permitting Amanda to access certain specified

information from Andrew’s mental health providers, (3) in issuing a restraining order for

1 To avoid confusion, we refer to the parties by their first names. We intend no disrespect. No. 82969-6-I/2

Amanda’s protection, challenging the sufficiency of evidence of the trial court’s finding

of a reasonable likelihood of family violence in the absence of such an order, (4) by

failing to weigh the statutory criteria under RCW 26.09.187 in adopting the residential

parenting time schedule, and (5) in calculating child support.

We affirm.

FACTS

Andrew and Amanda married in August 2014. They have one child together, KT,

born in January 2014. Amanda has an older child, A, from a prior relationship. Andrew

and Amanda separated in 2018. They shared parenting duties for both KT and A

without a parenting plan until Amanda began this dissolution action in 2020. During the

pendency of the dissolution, the two children resided with Amanda 70 percent of the

time and with Andrew 30 percent of the time under a temporary residential schedule

imposed by court order.

Based on Amanda’s allegations of domestic violence and mental health concerns

about Andrew, a court commissioner ordered Andrew to undergo a mental health

assessment, to meet with a therapist every two weeks to address the assessment’s

results and to “work to establish appropriate social boundaries.” The court also ordered

the appointment of a guardian ad litem (GAL) to investigate Amanda’s allegations, as

well as statements Andrew had made that he was dying of cancer and suffered from a

collapsed lung, and mutual allegations each parent raised about the other’s drug or

alcohol abuse.

At a five-day bench trial that began in June 2021, the trial court heard testimony

from Andrew, Amanda, their relatives, Andrew’s current pastor, and one of Andrew’s

-2- No. 82969-6-I/3

friends. The court also heard testimony and admitted into evidence a 45-page report

from the court-appointed GAL, Julia Jensine, and a psychologist retained by Andrew to

perform a mental health evaluation, Dr. Daniel Singer.

The evidence at trial revealed that Amanda left the marriage after calling the

police during a domestic dispute that led to the police escorting Andrew from the family

home. According to Amanda, the incident involved Andrew locking her in the laundry

room for two hours while he ranted at her about various grievances. Amanda testified

that incident was her “breaking point” that led her to leave the marriage. The GAL, in

both her report and in her testimony at trial, concluded that this incident was not an

isolated event. She concluded that Andrew had engaged in various tactics throughout

the marriage to “minutely control Amanda’s day-to-day behavior,” including threats,

intimidation, financial deprivation, emotional and verbal abuse, lying, gaslighting,

emotional and verbal abuse of the children, isolation of Amanda from her family and

friends, sabotage of Amanda’s efforts to obtain a dental hygiene degree, and using the

children as pawns to make Amanda feel guilty.

While there is no evidence Andrew physically hurt Amanda, the evidence showed

that he made her fear such violence. Amanda testified that during one Christmas Eve,

Andrew began drinking liquor straight from the bottle and yelled at her, while the two

boys watched, crying. She also testified that, at times, Andrew would keep her up all

night yelling at her, making it difficult for her to get enough sleep to function at work or

school. Amanda testified that before separating, she and Andrew attempted marriage

counseling with a counselor named Heidi Halsey. The counselor described Andrew as

a “narcissist” and “sociopath,” and advised Amanda to leave him immediately.

-3- No. 82969-6-I/4

Amanda also explained how, after they separated, Andrew began a relentless

campaign of harassment and intimidation. Amanda recounted to the GAL that when

she asked Andrew not to return to the home after the police ordered him to leave, he

told her that the house was not hers, that her sister, Adrienne, needed to leave, and if

she did not “come to [her] senses,” the “[p]ower, water, gas, internet, go away.” He then

used the internet to remotely turn the house lights on and off remotely.

The couple purchased a Jeep for Amanda’s use before they separated but the

vehicle title was only in Andrew’s name. When Amanda did not agree to his demands

to see the boys on Christmas Day, Andrew threatened to call the police and tell them

she had stolen the vehicle. He also threatened to call 911 and claim that she had

kidnapped the children. He sent her photographs of himself wearing a Grinch mask, in

which he used one hand to flip her off and the other hand to hold his crotch. In text

behind the Grinch mask are the words “Give me full custody of both and I’ll go away.

You never have to see me again.”

Amanda also testified that Andrew regularly used the children for information

about her asking them if she was bringing men home. He watched her Facebook page

and wrote her repeatedly asking about men who were identified as “friends” on her

page. The GAL concluded, after reviewing the communications between the parties,

that Andrew was obsessed by the thought of Amanda engaging in sex with other men

and made “outlandish accusations of infidelities” based on benign Facebook and Twitter

entries.

One theme of the GAL report and trial testimony was Andrew’s economic abuse

of Amanda. For the first year and a half of their separation, Andrew regularly denied

-4- No. 82969-6-I/5

Amanda access to money for the children. Amanda explained to the court how Andrew

withheld funds from her hoping he could convince her to reconcile. Amanda had to

plead with Andrew for financial support and he would periodically send her money via

Venmo but when he chose to send it, in an amount he decided to send. When Amanda

told Andrew she lacked funds to buy the children Christmas presents, he told her he

would take the children from her if she could not afford to feed them. Because she had

no court-ordered child support at the time, the amount he sent her was insufficient for

her and the children’s needs and it was always up to Andrew whether she would receive

anything. Amanda and the children were, as she described it, “at his mercy.” She

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