In re Marriage of Mau

Court of Appeals of Iowa·Decided December 4, 2024·No. 24-0100·Published

Opinion

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS OF IOWA

No. 24-0100

Filed December 4, 2024

IN RE THE MARRIAGE OF JEFFERY ALAN MAU AND ANN MARIE MAU

Upon the Petition of JEFFERY ALAN MAU, Petitioner-Appellant,

And Concerning ANN MARIE MAU, Respondent-Appellee.

Appeal from the Iowa District Court for Scott County, Patrick A. McElyea, Judge.

A former spouse appeals the denial of his petition to modify legal custody and physical care concerning a minor child and other claims following a stipulated dissolution of marriage. AFFIRMED.

Paul L. Macek of Hopkins & Huebner, P.C., Davenport, for appellant.

Ryan M. Beckenbaugh of Beckenbaugh Law, P.C., Davenport, for appellee.

Considered by Ahlers, P.J., and Chicchelly and Buller, JJ.

BULLER, Judge.

Jeffery (Jeff) Mau appeals a district court ruling addressing his and ex-wife Ann Marie Mau’s dueling petitions for modification. On appeal, Jeff raises four issues—concerning legal custody and physical care of a minor child, the admissibility of certain evidence (including pre-decree conduct), division of assets after sale of the home, and division of Jeff’s retirement accounts. Ann Marie resists each of Jeff’s arguments and requests appellate attorney fees. On our review, we affirm and order Jeff to pay Ann Marie $15,647.50 in fees.

I. Background Facts and Proceedings Jeff and Ann Marie divorced by stipulation in February 2020. They agreed to joint legal custody and Anne Marie having physical care of their then-six-year-old child. The stipulation also provided Jeff parenting time every other weekend and every other Wednesday during the school year.

Things rapidly deteriorated between the parties after the divorce. They fought over essentially everything—prescriptions and appointments for the child’s somewhat complicated medical needs, drop-offs and pick-ups, parent-teacher conferences, summer visitation, and everything in-between. In court, Jeff applied for a rule to show cause relating to sale of the marital home and a dispute over costs, the lawyering grew contentious, and the court found Ann Marie in contempt. Ann Marie then filed a motion for court involvement relating to the qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) that was the subject of a previous appeal and petitioned to modify the decree such that she had sole legal custody of the minor child. Jeff counterclaimed seeking sole legal custody and physical care for himself. As the district court put it, “[b]oth parents [took] an all-or-nothing approach.”

Discovery disputes followed, and the court denied a motion to compel filed by Jeff, finding Ann Marie had complied with her obligations and ordering Jeff to pay $500 of Ann Marie’s attorney fees. The court next quashed a subpoena filed by Jeff, granted a protective order limiting depositions, and ordered Jeff to pay another $600 in Ann Marie’s attorney fees. Then the court granted another protective order limiting depositions to stop Jeff from deposing witnesses about irrelevant and pre-decree conduct.

Ann Marie sought to exclude evidence of pre-decree conduct from trial, including but not limited to the conduct that was the subject of the earlier protective order. She also sought a third protective order regarding certain surreptitious video recordings she alleged were obtained in violation of Illinois law. In oral rulings, the court informed the parties it would generally not admit any pre-decree evidence because the court had no interest in re-litigating the stipulated decree.

It would serve little purpose for us to recount the full blow-by-blow of the parties’ trial testimony, in which each essentially sought to paint the other as a villain in nearly every interaction between them since the divorce. One particularly troublesome incident warrants some focus. In 2021, the child was referred to pediatrician Dr. Barbara Harre for an evaluation due to mental-health and behavioral issues. The child continued to see Dr. Harre without incident until a May 2022 follow-up appointment. During this appointment, in Dr. Harre’s words Jeff “launched into an angry—I would say hostile—tirade about how no one was keeping him informed,” even though he was welcome at every appointment. During this “tirade,” the child “curled up and snuggled into” Ann Marie. Jeff grew so loud that Dr. Harre’s staff came back to check on her and the child. Jeff

threatened to sue Dr. Harre, claiming she was violating the divorce decree by not sharing the child’s medical information with his mother (the child’s grandmother). Dr. Harre testified that the whole exchange—some forty minutes driven by Jeff’s “hostile” outbursts—was unhealthy “bullying” that was likely contributing to the child’s mental-health problems. And she expressed skepticism that Jeff could look out for the child’s best interests, particularly when it came to the child’s medical needs. In his testimony, Jeff did not dispute that Dr. Harre warned him that she was considering discontinuing care for the child because of Jeff’s behavior, but he otherwise disagreed with Dr. Harre and Ann Marie’s descriptions of the event or claimed he couldn’t recall the specifics.

Beyond the particulars of the parties’ disagreements, we think the district court summarized the relationship between them well: “contentious would be a gross understatement. There is virtually no trust between Jeff[ ] and Ann Marie, which, essentially, negates their ability to effectively coparent.” As just one example of this, the court highlighted that, even when the parties were seeking emergency medical care for the child, they were unable to effectively communicate, choosing to email each other rather than pick up the phone. And the court was particularly struck by how, when Jeff learned the child was headed to the emergency room, Jeff immediately called his divorce attorney to protect his interest in litigation—rather than focusing on the child’s welfare. After the child was released from the hospital, both parties argued for more than an hour over where to drop the child off, and Ann Marie later called the police to conduct a welfare-check. From this, the court concluded that “both parties have placed their animosity towards one another and their desire ‘to win’ above the needs of their

child.” And the court concluded both parents have put the child “in the middle” and remained unable to effectively communicate.

In its modification ruling, the district court observed that “[a]ll of these facts make this a very difficult decision for the court,” and it ultimately declined to grant Jeff’s petition to modify. The court emphasized that Jeff was capable of being a good father but had not met his heavy burden to show he was a superior caregiver compared to Ann Marie. The court expressly found that Jeff “does not demonstrate the same commitment to his son that Ann Marie does” and noted that his “request for primary physical care and sole legal custody appears to be motivated by a desire to win rather than a genuine desire to be the primary caretaker.”

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