Brim v. Brim

532 P.2d 1403
CourtCourt of Civil Appeals of Oklahoma
DecidedMarch 27, 1975
Docket46782
StatusPublished
Cited by4 cases

This text of 532 P.2d 1403 (Brim v. Brim) is published on Counsel Stack Legal Research, covering Court of Civil Appeals of Oklahoma primary law. Counsel Stack provides free access to over 12 million legal documents including statutes, case law, regulations, and constitutions.

Bluebook
Brim v. Brim, 532 P.2d 1403 (Okla. Ct. App. 1975).

Opinion

BRIGHTMIRE, Judge.

Custody of a three-year-old white male was changed to his father after evidence disclosed the mother was sharing her bed three to five nights a week with a paramour who appears to have been married to another woman. 1 The mother appeals.

The 25-year-old white female married appellee in February 1969. To them a child was born May 19, 1970. During the marriage Mrs. Brim, a sociologist, was employed for a time with the “Welfare Department as an Eligibility Worker,” and later with the City of Shawnee Park and Recreation Department at the “Lincoln Community Center,” “The Rap Center,” and at the time of the’ hearing at the “Hope House” which she described as a state job in which: “I work with the juveniles through the Court.”

It was during the summer of 1971 while working at “The Rap Center” that she became acquainted with one Melvin Jackson —the man who later became her lover. On May 30, 1972, Mrs. Brim sued Mr. Brim for a divorce on the ground of incompatibility and obtained one along with custody of her young son on July 12, 1972.

She did not know exactly when she first became intimate with Mr. Jackson but said it was “probably before the summer of ’72 ended,” and that she began having sexual relations with him “toward the end of the summer” at her house.

Mr. Jackson and Mrs. Brim ventured out in public together twice — both times to. local private clubs. They had seen only one “stag movie” together and this was in early 1973 at the home of a female friend, however, her son was not with her when the “illicit sex acts and pornography” was shown. Not long before the hearing Mrs. Brim and Mr. Jackson made a trip to New York for the purpose, according to her, of “visiting friends of mine who were at school at Cornell University.” The child on this occasion was left with his father.

Mrs. Brim said while she has no plans to marry Mr. Jackson, she had no inclination to discontinue having “sexual relations with him . . . quite frequently.” Their cohabitation continued right up to the time of the hearing. Ordinarily Mr. Jackson sleeps in Mrs. Brim’s bed and the *1405 little boy sleeps “on the couch in the living room.” She denies her son has ever witnessed any acts of intimacy between her and her male friend. If the youngster happens to come into the bedroom then Mr. Jackson will “immediately [get] out of bed and put his clothes on and • [g°] in the other room.”

Mrs. Brim was receiving psychiatric treatment at the time of the hearing and had been for several months.

Mr, Brim, age 23, on the other hand is living with his parents on a small acreage on the outskirts of Enid — the place where his son would be living if the father gained his custody.

At the close of the evidence the trial court modified its previous order and granted Mr. Brim custody of his son “solely and only . . . for the best interest of the parties’ minor male child,” saying that when “a woman starts living with a man without the benefit of marriage, where the man spends three to five nights a week in that home where the child is . whether or not this man is married or unmarried . . . [t]his does not agree with the Court’s concept of moral conduct.”

The force and effect of Mrs. Brim’s argument is that her former husband failed to “carry the burden on showing that there was a substantial change of condition bearing directly upon the welfare and best interests of the child. [thus] there is an obvious abuse of discretion . in . changing custody from the appellant to appel-lee.” 2

We are of the opinion, however, that appellee did carry the burden of proof and that the trial court did not abuse its discretion.

To begin with Mrs. Brim’s own testimony forecloses any doubt about a substantial post-divorce change in the home environment of the little boy. She said she did not become intimate with Mr. Jackson until about a month or two after the divorce and the first custody order was rendered, so it follows his part-time live in at the child’s home was a change that occurred after the previous order — a change which we think was a substantial one.

Was the change one affecting in any respect the child’s temporal, mental or moral welfare? Mrs. Brim argues it was not because there was no proof “that the mother’s conduct had a direct effect upon the child.” Of course just what type or kind of proof of a direct effect she has in mind we do not know. But as a sociologist Mrs. Brim should appreciate the fact that communities do establish standards of conduct either through custom or law, with which compliance is considered right and a departure from which the adult majority considers wrong. She must know that the brain of a child begins to record impressions through his senses from infancy (even while en útero according to some scientists) and cerebral tapes made during this very early period are the ones which later on psychiatrists may have to be hired to erase in order to relieve some serious mental malfunction.

So here admittedly we have a situation where a three-year-old’s subconscious is recording a man staying in the house and sleeping in the same bed as his mother three to five nights a week. He may not at all have any meaningful understanding of what is going on. He is unlikely to realize the counterculture implications, or the antisocial character of the relationship between his mother and Mr. Jackson. But *1406 still his brain records what his eyes see and his ears hear. And unless he can begin now to learn through the same senses society’s conceptual norm of man-woman, mother-child, father-child relationships, it will, in the next few significant months, become fixed in his mind that his mother’s relationship with Mr. Jackson is one society accepts as proper. And because of all people it is his mother involved he can become an excellent, candidate for a real psychic hang-up when faced with having to accept, live and cope with existing incompatible social mores. And this problem is entirely independént of the issue of whether established mores are ill-conceived and in need of a correctional social force. So the direct effect on the child at this point as we see it is that (1) he is not being subconsciously introduced to the community’s generally accepted moral code of conduct relating to a man-woman relationship; (2) he is contrarily being subconsciously conditioned to assume his mother’s conduct in the home is generally accepted as proper.

It can be seen,' therefore, from the foregoing that the • home environment does have a “direct effect” on the three-year-old. Because the effect implies a future consequence its exact nature cannot be foretold with certainty. But this does not mean the court must await the finite proof of ultimate results. This would be absurd.

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Bluebook (online)
532 P.2d 1403, Counsel Stack Legal Research, https://law.counselstack.com/opinion/brim-v-brim-oklacivapp-1975.